I don’t know why I struggle so much when I can’t access my CM blog – I suppose it’s because I’ve poured so much of myself into it over the years (I’m amazed to realise I’ve been part of CMs for five years now!)

I take time to carefully craft my entries, rewriting each until I’m satisfied. But I’m not so vain to think they are of any value to anyone else … I simply like to write, to use words to put something across. I love to find just the right phrase to describe something or a humorous aspect to something quite ordinary. One blog I love to read is The Chicken Chronicles, not only because it’s a subject that interests me, but because of her sharp observation and turn of phrase. Another is The Vicar’s Wife … I identify so closely with many of the situations she describes, while others are totally out of my experience, yet I can picture them in every detail.

I should love to be able to write like either of them.

I started a blog about being a parent of a child with Asperger’s … I spent some time getting it just right to my satisfaction before showing DH, but he found it rather too harrowing, so I deleted it. I regret it really, I should perhaps simply have made it private, as I miss being able to work out my own emotions by writing in that context. I’m not sure what else would suit me as well.

I spend a similar effort on writing blog entries as I do sermons … once I have a theme/shape, using the right words is very important to me – words need to be precise, to convey exactly what I want them to, not able to be misunderstood. Of course, with a sermon, God may have other ideas, and I am often surprised by what someone tells me they heard me say! Which reminds me of a book I read recently – a school library book of DD1’s that she gave DH to read, who then insisted I read it too. Called The Giver it’s about a community whose life is governed by rules of sameness, for the sake of peace and unity … and it’s a very attractive picture until you realise that all individuality is contained and anything (or anyone) exceptional removed. The Giver is the one person who is allowed to hold memories of the past, to see both good and bad emotions that have been suppressed … it’s a beautifully written book and although I found the ending unsatisfactory, nevertheless I still keep finding new things to think about having read it a few weeks ago. The point of this digression (!) is that one of the rules of the community is to use precise, exact language … one is hungry, not starving (at least in their world), cold not freezing, etc. So the word love is never used … what does it mean? Then say so!

To use words accurately is a lost skill for many … and if I achieve nothing else by writing, I hope at least to hone the skill of saying exactly what I mean, hopefully in a way that others understand without further interpretation. God be in my words, and in my understanding …

I suppose this could all be pretentious rubbish … but it’s my blog, and I shall write what I like! 😀